Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Enjoy Grudges

There is no way I will acknowledge that I even pick up a Reader's Digest since someone told me it was written on a 5th grade level. Much less would I deign to admit I read anything in it! However....

There is this amazing article in the April 2010 issue on nursing grudges. My husband must have brought it to my attention or something.

Please allow me to quote a few of the best points:

I may be outnumbered, but I still believe in the healing power of the grudge. I've deployed grudges with an equal-opportunity sense of fairness ... I've chosen to stop speaking to certain people permanently and occasionally even spoken ill of them -- but more with incredulity than a sense of revenge. I'm neither proud nor ashamed. But I've discovered that nothing feels quite as satisfying as a grudge well nursed (p. 64).

Oh my! I could have written that myself! (Is "incredulity" a 5th grade word?) And he cites the example of a boss who laid him off just before Thanksgiving.
Was I to forgive her? Should I now? Give me one good reason. My grudge against her balanced out that injustice, somehow righted the universe. It has kept me warm on many a cold night (p. 65).

Isn't that GREAT! But wait, there's more...

A long-standing grudge suggests that we hold certain standards, that we respect ourselves enough to reject bad behavior. Failure to forgive can be just as righteous, just as honorable as forgiveness itself (p. 65).

I know the sweet Lord Jesus is very disappointed in my agreement with Bob Brody, but (sigh) it's just how it is. I may even be genetically predisposed to grudges ... I come from a long line of grudge holders on both sides of my family.

And here's a few snaps of EJ working up a grudge because I took his pacifier away to get a photo. I think he's forgotten it already, so technically it was just a pout, not a real grudge.

And, please don't take me too seriously. I just really think it's a great point of view - exactly how most of us feel but won't admit. I really don't need any clarification on the medical and spiritual reasons to forgive. Nor has anyone done anything lately that prompted this post. I just had a few minutes and these cute pics of EJ. I promise :)

Brody, Bob. "To Forgive is Good But Sometimes I Want to Stay Mad." Reader's Digest Apr. 2010: 64-65.

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